Rejoice! Wonderful Women, It is Wednesday,
It is our time to take a break from everything and everybody to celebrate at least one good quality about ourselves. Think back over the last ten days, you have covered a lot of ground in the various roles that are part of your lives. Mother, wife, sister, aunt, leader, follower, friend, feel free to fill in the spots I did not mention, you walked in at least two of these spots in the last ten days. Everyone arrived to their appointed activities and had rides home which may have included a friend or two (it takes a village doesn’t it?). Lunches were packed or lunch bills paid, reminder texts were sent and/or notes on mirrors appeared. You checked in with your family members around you to make sure they were okay and received some love before the week was gone.
As a leader you poured into your team, taking the time to encourage the few who seem to need that extra measure of patience. As a member of a team you submit yourself to those leading the larger teams to hear more about their vision and direction for the corporate team. You received the information for depositing into others later. You were there for your friends, creating time to love, support and or help them. You have met the needs, goals and expectations for the majority of the people attached to you. It is easy to lose sight of your good qualities because you did not carve out time for yourself. I will urge you again, acknowledge something good about yourself. Then thank God for that good thing, He is the one who walked with you while you worked out a few things. That work out produced your good quality. He encouraged you, loved you as you were throughout the entire process bringing you along in such a way as to bring out the best in you. God had and continues to have your back in all things. He is there when it seems no one else will support you.
I had the pleasure of being part of a discussion recently and there were two phrases that spoke to me, the first one was “I have your back.” I continued to listen to the conversation but I could not ignore that statement. Wonderful Women has that statement become one of those things we say like “How are you”? Or “Call me if you need me.” It is the appropriate thing to say under the circumstances but is there weight behind the statement? It is often something we say in times of trouble to show empathy or to fill the dead air space between need and deed. When you make that statement what does it encompass? When you receive that statement what are your expectations? Don’t answer out loud until you have examined “I got your back” from both sides of the table.
Maybe you have been in the situation that you needed help and you called on your sister because she said “If you need me call, you know I have your back!” only to hear her sputter an excuse or worse; she does not respond to your SOS call. What happened? Did the disappointment cause you to give up on your vision? Did the hurt cause you to quietly heal but leave you guarded with her? Were you able to see God in the situation? If you were the one who did not respond after making that powerful promise, what happened? It could have been a case of timing, perhaps you were dealing with something too. It could have been a case of not knowing what was expected of you and the question of how much responsibility you were being asked to assume was vague. Maybe it was as simple as not knowing how to help. We could run the check list of things that happened but what really happened in your spirit? What lessons did you learn? Were you able to see God move in the situation?
I know this is somewhat of a departure from our normal time together. However, as I thought about that declaration it seems there are some unspoken things that comes with “I got your back”, there is a suggested level of trust followed by intimacy. Both parties must participate in the relationship building act of “I got your back”. That requires a give and take in hearts and minds which builds trust and confidence in one another. It requires unconditional love for your sister, not blind acceptance of wrong behaviors but to truly want to help because you remember when you needed help to grow. I got your back requires the give and take of truth given in love. When provoked most of us can give that raw truth to cut and kill. While it may be the truth, it does not possess the power that truth tempered in love can produce.
You should not make that statement unless you are willing to exchange places with your sister in order for the vision to be carried out. You should not receive that statement unless you have complete trust in the person to guard your vulnerabilities and work with you to bring the vision into existence. Gracious Women as I thought about “I got your back” I thought about the greatest acts of love that gives us all reason to celebrate. You know the story. Encourage another Wonderful Women to celebrate, remind her she is not alone that there is always someone who will have her back and together the three of you will see her through.
It’s all ‘bout love,
Trudy